Heartbreak
by A pink lady
Summary: The heartbreaking tale of Ginny’s farewell to the love of her life, the remembrance of what once was, and a love that will never die.


-1As I look at you lying peacefully in your bed, I can imagine that you are sleeping. You look so peaceful, so calm, so innocent. I feel my heart break as I look at you, because I know that you will never be able to look back at me ever again. My mind fills with all the good times we had. Even if we were just sitting and talking, I would be happy. But you had a job to do. You were the chosen one. The boy-no, man, who would conquer the Dark Lord. And you did. You saved everyone from the most evil wizard of all time. You came face to face with him countless times before and survived. Even when you were a mere eleven year old, you faced him, showing bravery beyond your years. Then the next year, you faced him again and saved my life in the Chamber, even though you barely knew me. Even after all the years of fighting him, you still didn't think you would be able to do it. That you always had so much help every time. You were the saviour, not anyone else. You were just being modest and humble. And I love you for that. My mind doesn't just fill with all the good things, but the bad things too, but they hurt so badly to think of them, that I try to push them into the corner of my mind, but it's not always that easy. Once they take a hold of me, they won't let me go and I'm not strong enough to fight it. People probably think I'm mad, talking to you when you can't hear me. But they're wrong. Wherever you are, I know that you are listening.

Everyone's celebrating, but I can't even muster a proper smile. I get angry at people for celebrating, yeah Voldemort's dead but so are you. I feel as if everyone should be mourning because they have lost the greatest, bravest man who has ever walked this earth. But no-one knew you like I do. People just see the good side, that Voldemort is now gone forever, but all I can think about was the sacrifice you made for everyone. Your own life, for theirs. Even though Voldemort's gone, I still feel as if the darkness of war is still here, all around me. It hasn't really sunk in that Voldemort will never come back, like he did the last time, I still feel as if he could come back. I'm scared. I just want to snuggle up to you, feeling your warmth merge with mine. You would be able to comfort me, to tell me he was gone for good. I still feel as if you will suddenly sit up and grin at me, then tell me to stop crying and celebrate that Voldemort's gone. Maybe if I stay with you, wish with all my might for you to wake up, you might. But I know what you'd say. You'd say, move on, get on with you're life, but I'm sorry Harry I can't do that. If moving on means life without you, I can't. How can I?

There was something I wanted to tell you, when you came back from the war. I didn't tell anyone, because I wanted you to be the first to know. I'm pregnant. I'm having your baby. It's funny because in my head, I can actually imagine your reaction. You would be thrilled, of course; I knew that you always wanted a family of your own. I can almost see the delighted glint in your emerald green eyes. But then you would get worried about what my overprotective brothers would do to you, being their only sister, the baby of the family. Then you would hold me and squeeze my hand tight, tell me everything was going to be all right, that you would be there for me forever. This is still true, in a way. Even though you can't be here in body, you will always be in my heart and soul. I know I will never be whole again, but the tiny life form of ours inside of me will be my personal reminder of you. So you will live on. I'm so happy I'm going to have your baby, because then you will always be with me, this baby will be your final gift to me. I think I'll tell Hermione first, then the rest of the family. I know they will be supportive and help me raise him or her. Even though I'm only nineteen, I don't care that I'm gonna be a mother. I'm not a child. But I won't tell anyone today. Today is your day. I'll just wear my baggy clothes to hide my growing bump, its not that I'm ashamed, it's just I want to find the right moment, that's al. I know you would have been a brilliant father, but you were never given that chance. I will tell our child about you everyday. All your selfless heroic ventures, and even when you and Ron flew the car into the Whomping Willow. I bet people are still talking about it at Hogwarts.

I have never imagined having children with anyone else but you. I have never even imagined a future without you. Whenever I imagined future Christmases, I would think of a big house, full of magnificent decorations. We would be married, of course and have loads of kids, all would be waiting impatiently round the Christmas tree for you to get up so they could open their presents. Some of them have your jet black hair, some with my trademark Weasley hair. And your beautiful green eyes. But now, that dream is gone, dissolved into the bitter air of that hospital, where that dream was snatched from me. Who would think that all your dreams could be shattered in a single second, with a single word. How could one word cause so much pain?

I still remember the first time I saw you, at Kings Cross Station. I wanted to go as well and then you came over and asked us politely how to get on the platform. You looked so lost and helpless. Then Fred and George told Mum and me who you were. I wanted to see you again, but Mum wouldn't let me. All the year, I thought about you, I had heard about you before and was fascinated about you, but now I had actually _seen _you, I couldn't stop thinking about you, I asked Mum for the books which mentioned you in it. I really wanted to see you again. Then when Ron came back from school with you, I was so excited. Not to see Ron, of course, but because I had another chance to see you. Ron told me all about you and I drank up every word. I had the biggest crush on you. When you came over at the summer, I felt so embarrassed and clumsy, dropping everything I held whenever I saw you, the girly, shy part of me taking over. You were so nice not to draw attention to it, particularly when I put my elbow in that butter dish. That was so long ago now, but I still remember it as clear as day, I still blush to the roots of my long red hair as I think of it.

I remember when you broke up with me at Dumbledore's funeral. I was watching you and I could see on your face that you had realised something and I knew that you had to break up with me. That's how connected we were, I could sometimes tell what you were thinking. You had your reasons. You wanted to protect me. So I agreed with you, even though it was breaking my heart. I knew that you loved me, even before you realised, I could see it in your eyes. When we got back together, I was elated. I was always happiest when we were together. But when you, Ron and Hermione went away searching for the Horcruxes, I was so afraid and worried. I just wanted you to be at home with me safe, but I knew you had to go. Sometimes we wouldn't hear from you for months at a time and I would wake up every morning, hoping you would contact us. One time, you came back to the Burrow and stayed for a while and I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. You were safe, even though it was only for a little while. We spent as much time as we could together, before the three of you had to go hunting again.

But then you had to go again, and we didn't hear anything from any of you for almost five months. It was then that I found out I was pregnant and I decided to wait and tell you first. One day Ron and Hermione came back, both of them were cut and bloodied, Hermione's arm was at a strange angle, and they were carrying you between them. You were unconscious and you were barely breathing. I couldn't breath; the thought that you were hurt was unbearable. Then they told me that Voldemort was dead and the war was over, but I wasn't listening, I was just staring at your lifeless body, the blood trickling down your face. They said they needed to get you to the hospital. I rushed back into the house and grabbed the emergency Portkey, which would take us straight to St Mungo's. I was so scared when they rushed you into the intensive care unit, I tried to get to you, but they wouldn't let me. I tried to fight my way to you, but I wasn't strong enough. I had to wait outside with everyone else until someone brought us news. It must have looked a sight. In the waiting room, there was me, Mum, Dad, Fred, George, Charlie, Bill, Fleur, Lupin and Tonks. It wasn't long before Hermione and Ron joined us when their cuts, Hermione's broken arm and Ron's broken rib was mended. I think the Healers tried to keep them in the unit, but they refused and waited with us. We just had to sit there. Waiting. Waiting.

I couldn't stand it, I wanted to be there with you, to hold your hand and help you, but I couldn't. I was shaking really badly and every moment there felt like a lifetime. Then a Healer came out and said that you had died. When they said it, I refused to believe them. You couldn't die. You were the boy who _lived_. I turned to Ron and Hermione; sure they would be like me, ready to tell the Healer that it was not true. But they didn't. I felt as if I had been kicked in the gut and I felt the bile rise in my throat. As though in a trance, I ran into the room where you were and I saw you. I rushed over and took your hand, murmuring your name to you, pleading for you to move, to wake. But you didn't. I tried to feel for your pulse but I couldn't. Then it started to sink in. You were dead. At that moment, part of me died with you. _If only I was faster, got to Portkey quicker, you might have lived…_ I barely noticed Ron and Hermione enter the room, crying as they saw you. They were your best friends since your first year at Hogwarts. They love you too, Harry.

One of the many things you taught me was that, even though you lost so many people, saw so many people die, you never turned bitter or cruel. You kept on living and loving. You shouldn't have died, Harry. You shouldn't have had to shoulder the burden of being the 'Chosen one.' You could have given so much. You had so much to live for. I know this is selfish, but you should have lived for me. I love you so much; more than I thought was possible. There was so much that I should have asked you, but I didn't. Now I will never know. Like I never asked you about your childhood, or about trivial things like your favourite food. It feels as if a dagger is being repeatedly stabbed into my heart. With every blow, the tears that are running down my cheeks multiply; my clothes are constantly drenched with my own, salty tears. My heart is overflowing with sorrow.

I will never love anyone else apart from you. It will never be the same; no one will be able to fill that hole in my heart, only you will. No one will be able to make me feel as special as you did. No one will be able to make me feel as happy as you always made me. No one would be able to make me feel as right as you did. It was true love. I know it. We were soul mates. But we were ripped apart, even before we were fully together. It's so unfair, I can just scream and smash everything up, but I know that won't help. It won't bring you back. I miss you so much. I love you with every fiber of my being and more.

I hear a creak at the door and look round to see Hermione standing at the door, tears running down her face, dark purple shadows were under her eyes. She and Ron have taken your death hard as well, but they have each other. I don't have anyone, my support was you, but now you're gone and I'm all alone.

"Ginny… they have to take him now," Hermione whispers. Ron just came into the room; he can't bear to see you like this. I lean over and lightly kiss your lips, which have gone slightly blue, for the last time. My tears fall onto your pale face, so I tenderly wipe them away. My finger traces your lightening scar on your forehead. From where you 'defeated' Voldemort the first time. All of your life you've always had the threat of Voldemort hanging over you. You have seen more things than most people can even imagine, but you always stayed strong. I know this will be the last time I can see you again, to touch you again and I can't bear it. I can't let you go to get put in a hole in the ground. I grip onto your hand, desperately wishing that you will squeeze it back, but you don't. You never will. Your eyes are shut and will be forever. My whole body is shaking and I can't control it. I want you back; I can't live without you. How can I live, knowing that I will never see your smile again, never have you hold me again? That I'll never hear your voice or your laugh ever again?

"Ginny, you need to let him go," Hermione sobs.

"I can't," I choke, not taking my eyes off you, the pain of knowing I will never see you again are a thousand times worse when Riddle started to pour his soul into my body and ripping mine out. At the time, it felt like knives was coursing through my body as his evil spread into my veins; but that was nothing compared to this. This pain makes that experience feel as though Tom was tickling me.

"Please Ginny. Please," Hermione begs, putting a hand on my shoulder. I let go of your hand and weep into Hermione. Hermione cries as well as they close the lid of your casket with a dull snap and take you away from me. As you are taken out of the room, I feel as if my heart is being wrenched out of my chest and I put one hand on my growing stomach where our baby is, drawing a small amount of comfort out of it.

You will be buried at Godric's Hollow next to your parents and one day, I will be buried next to you. One day, I will join you again and you can introduce me to your parents, who gave their lives for yours, like you have done for the whole world. Only then will I be whole again. Until then, I will live, love our baby and keep your memory alive. I doubt the tears will ever stop, like the sea will never dry up, but maybe when I hold our baby, part of that gaping hole will be filled. I love you so much and I miss you. I always will and I will never forget you. But now you are reunited with everyone you lost. With Sirius, your parents, Dumbledore, everyone. Goodbye Harry, one day we will meet again and then we will be together for eternity.

**A/N: This is my favourite piece of work, I'm not sure why, but I really like it. (Even though it is a bit depressing!) I prefer to write like this than lots of dialogue. I hope you like it too; let me know what you think of it, I love feedback! I'm also debating on making another chapter to this, tell me whether you think I should or just leave it like this.**


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